Someone needs to keep track
Every wedding involves details that most people don't notice— unless something goes wrong. To help couples plan and prepare more efficiently for their weddings, some churches have appointed wedding coordinators.
Other couples are helped by an experienced master and mistress of ceremonies—such as Diane and Robert Bloem. Although the Bloems usually do not get involved in the service itself, they provide a valuable planning service to the families, the church, and the guests who look forward to a wedding celebration.
They looked at each other with deep satisfaction. "We're finally ready for our wedding," she said. She reached for her copy of their wedding vows while her groom-to-be gathered up the music they had chosen.
"I commend you for the careful thought you have put into this ceremony" the pastor told them as they prepared to leave his office. "When I see a couple so concerned about planning a sacred ceremony, I know that this same concern for honoring God will smooth their path through life."
At the rehearsal, though, he wondered if his original impression had been accurate. The bride and groom arrived at the special chapel they had reserved only to find the doors locked; neither of them had the remotest idea whom to call to open them. They were both frustrated and short-tempered by the time they tracked down a janitor.
When they were finally ready to begin, they had to substitute family members for two members of the wedding party who were missing: One of their bridesmaids arrived late because no one had given her instructions on how to get to the chapel. And an usher—confused about the various times for dinners and rehearsal and pre-wedding meetings he had been given—didn't show up at all until the post-rehearsal dinner.
The rehearsal itself was an ordeal. Because no one knew who was in charge, tempers flared and tears glistened. Neither bride nor groom had any idea how to work the lights or the sound system. And their parents had drastically different ideas about how the bridal party should enter and where they should stand.
Though the groom's family had carefully planned the rehearsal dinner, the frayed feelings generated in the rehearsal made it difficult for several people to enjoy their meal. "We'll all feel better after a good night's rest," was the groom's guarantee for a brighter tomorrow.
But the next day tensions only increased. By the time the pictures were taken before the ceremony, everyone was hungry and hot, and no one had made any provisions for food or drink for the wedding party. Two of the bridesmaids started to feel faint. The caterer tapped on the dressing room door and announced that no cake had been delivered. And the florist arrived to remove the flowers before the ceremony had even begun…
This couple, who had worked in such devoted detail on the ceremony, had unfortunately paid little attention to the practical planning so crucial to such a function. What was supposed to be a celebration of love was nearly ruined by confusion and misunderstanding.
Though it's doubtful that many couples do as poor a job of planning as this one did, almost every bride and groom could use a little assistance in preparing for this important celebration. To help make your wedding a time of happiness instead of frenzy, we offer the following general checklist. The bride and groom should be able to answer all of these questions and should supply a copy of these answers to the master and mistress of ceremonies before the day of the rehearsal.
Diane Brummel Bloem and Robert C. Bloem, authors of Workshop on Bible Marriages (Zondervan), are members of Kelloggsville Christian Reformed Church in Grand Rapids, Michigan.